Waoh i dial the number

” the number you are trying to call is currently switch off, please try again later” i hate that woman, the time is 8am on monday and i have test around 9 in the morning, but i dont think the test is important now, adanna is more important for now, so i stood up, brush my teeth, worm my afam soup and took my bath, i ate the afam soup and eba silently, (i like that soup well well) thinking about adanna.

Number she use to call me just now how can it be switch off, i redial again, but still switch off i droped the phone, as i ate silently a test enter my phone again, i thought it was adanna, i quickly rush to read it,

“fuckiing me is one thing and fuccking my friend is another thing, becareful we are watching you”.

Frm chinansa.

Lol abeg make she go sit down joor, i nor get her time and she cant do more than a dead rat, wey she and her sister dey fight for one man, maybe she think say i nor know, another call enter my phone from mercy.

Me: hello sweetie

mercy: hey dear, i hope you are in school already, because am almost at the gate.

Me: no oh, am still at home.

Mercy: still at home by this time, or you forgot that we have to revise before the test.

Me: yeah i remember, just give me 30minutes i will be there.

Mercy: ok i will be in room 101 please be fast.

Me: ok dear see ya.

I told her i will be there before 30minutes, but am i really going? Hmmm question for the gods,

.

I finish eating, took my bath, then lie on my bed, wearing just my boxer and singlet, a call enter my phone again, this time unknown caller, i pick it.

Me: hello

unknown caller: it seems you are not going to school.

Me: adanna.?

Adanna: yes.

Me: waoh, your voice sound so sweet.

Adanna: hmmm are you sure.

Me: yes of course infact everything about you is sweet, your voice, your, lips, your b—-t, and even your….

Adanna: e don do, by the way, am sorry for leaving like that i just dont want to disturb you.

Me: no problem, but what happen to the bulb?

Mercy: which bulb?

Me: the bulb that shattered when we were having s-x.

Adanna: i think you need to go take panadol, because you sound weird.

.

Hmmm, maybe i was seeing things sha, i check my time, 8:40.

Me: ok i have to go now, i will call you later when i come back.

Adanna: you are not going anywhere, because there will be no test.

Me: how? What do you mean, hello, hello, hellllooo.

Well maybe her credit don finish, i tried to call her, but her number switch off, na waoh, i got dress, spray my aboki perfume, comb my hair and set for school, as i was about to open the door, my phone rang, caller mercy.

Me: i don dey road already i will be there soon.

Mercy: no need am coming to your house.

Me: why, what happen.

Mercy: our lecturer call in sick.

I went out to buy hollandio yoghurt and bread at one supermarket close to calabar kitchen (if u know aba well you go know that area) at MCC road there, i came back remove my clothes and lie down, i open my hollandio drink and start drinking, i tried to watch movie from my laptop but i nor fit, i just cucuma relax for bed dey reason adanna matter, i dont know if i should tell mercy because she worst pass prayer warrior, i remember the time wey she dey scatter prayer for her compound, the landlord go knock for her door telling her shes disturbing the compound, na so mercy open mouth tell am say, im nor fit stop am from praying to her God, the landlord vex slap her twice, chai that thing vex me well, that night mercy cry come my house, the next morning i carry police go arrest the landlord and the yeye police carry 5k for my hand before them gree go arrest am, well the man pay 10k later for hospital bill even though i nor carry her go hospital.

Though i know say na mercy dey at fault, because there is one verse in the bible that say, dont disturb others when praying, i nor remember as them quote the verse sha.

I was lost in my thought when someone open my door.

Mercy: sweetheart how you dey?

Me: i don tell you make you dey knock if you come my house.

She went back and knock and i said come in.

Mercy: are you happy now

me: yeah,

mercy: so how are you

Me: am fine and you?

Mercy: am alright, this one wey you just relax so as if person die i hope everything is alright.

Me: am just thinking about you dear.

Mercy: what are thinking about.

Me: about your beauty, after God don create everybody finish, God come rest for more 7 days before im create you, na im make you fine like this na.

Mercy: abeg spare me your sweet sweet mouth, wetin dey pot?(she said and took my hollandio, she sip it)

Me: no be wetin you cook last.

Mercy: why your room scatter like this na.

Me: i nor know oh, i dey tire i for arrange.

Mercy: before i met you, your room is always neat and clean, but now you are always too lazy to clean your room.

Me: na im make God send you to me na.

After she finish my yoghurt and my bread as if i bought it for her, she took my dirty plates outside and wash all of them, she told me to go outside that she want to clean the room.

Me: make i even stroll go outside self,

mercy: stroll go where.

Me: make i reach viewing center (even if match no dey today)

mercy: buy sunshine when coming back.

me: no wahala.

I took 500 naira from my wallet, i went out, on my way i saw my loving neighbour chinansa outside washing clothes, she just eye me then hiss like snake, when i first come to aba, na she be my first lover, but she come dey claim activity, like if any girl come my house she go dey question like frank edoho, the thing come dey dey too much so i started shunning her, she no even fine self but she get big a-s like toolzs.

I went out to mcc junction, i cross the road and enter one bear parlour, they call it china town, i went in and order for smirnoff, i was drinking my drink gentlemanly when i saw her coming down from toyota avalon with one big man with pot belle, waoh na blessing be this, oboy i clean my eye well well, i nor mistake na she, the man old enough to be her father put hand on her shoulder, they came inside the bar, she saw me i wave, she just bone me like one madman, i nor blame her, later she go dey form virgin for school,.

They look for sit and sat down, the man call for barman, the barman later came back and serve them two guider, waoh so she dey drink self.

I continue watching them till test enter my phone.

“you go watch tire today till you blind”