How many times have you kept quiet when you knew the answer to a question? Then how did it feel when somebody else answered with the right answer and received praise? It’s not unusual to avoid answering questions in front of others because you are too shy or too afraid of being wrong. It might help to know that many famous people have suffered from this fear.

Sometimes a lack of self-confidence is merely a result of a lack of experience. You may not feel so confident about answering questions out loud, or taking part in a debate if you’ve never done it before. These feelings will change as you grow and experience more things in your life.

Sometimes, however, a lack of self-confidence come from bad feelings we have about ourselves, which we bury deep inside. When we do this, we tend not to assert ourselves and take chances because we fear our “secrets” will be revealed. This also is normal and common.

But it’s a normal feeling that you can and should change!

1. Identify the Cause for Your Lack of Self-Confidence

If you have a fear that people will see your faults, you will find it difficult to assert yourself. In building self-confidence, your first goal is to develop a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, which may involve the difficult first step of looking inside yourself to discover why you feel this way.

2. Face Your Fear

To get started, go to a quiet and comfortable place and think about the things that make you feel bad about yourself. These things could stem from your complexion, weight, a bad habit, your perceived intelligence, a family secret, abusive behavior in your family, or a feeling of guilt over something you’ve done.

It can be painful to think about the root of your bad feelings, but it is healthy to root out something that is hidden deep inside and work through it.

Once you have identified the things you feel bad or secretive about, you will need to determine what you can do to change them. Any action you take—even the act of thinking about your problem—is a step toward getting it out in the open and thrashing it out.

Once you have a full understanding of your problem, you will find that your fear decreases. When the fear goes away, the hesitation goes away and you can and will start asserting yourself more.

3. Celebrate Your Strengths

You also have great aspects about yourself that you need to explore, not just your weaknesses! You can start doing this by making a list of things you have accomplished, and the things you do well. Have you ever taken the time to explore your strengths?

You were born with some natural talent, whether you have discovered it or not. Do you always make people laugh? Are you artistic? Can you organise things? Do you write well? Do you remember names? Have problem solving skills? All of these are things that can become very valuable as you get older. They are skills that are absolutely essential, and if you can do any of them well, you have traits to cherish!

Once you have taken the two steps above, identifying your weakness and identifying your greatness, you will start feeling an increase in your confidence. You decrease your anxiety by facing your fears, and you start liking yourself better by celebrating your natural strengths.

4. Change Your Behaviour

Did you know that we can change our feelings by changing our behaviour? You can speed up your path to increased self-confidence by changing your behaviour.

Try smiling more. This will help you fight off feelings of negativity.

Compliment others on their strengths. You’ll find that other people will return the favour and compliment you back. We all like to hear good things about ourselves!

Exercise and get enough sleep, as these greatly improve our moods. You’ll feel better inside and outside and look better too!

Take time every night to plan for the next day. By planning ahead you avoid mistakes that make you feel bad about yourself.

As you go through the process of improving your self-image and increasing your self-confidence, try to think of yourself as a separate person. Picture yourself as a stranger who is on a path toward positive change. Be sure to celebrate this person’s accomplishments! You are more than you think!!

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