Ok, My Background I am about 5’10”. I am in good shape, and I am good looking. I have my degree in Nuclear Medicine, and am currently persuing a degree in Health Education (College Level)…I tend to be very smart and I most of the time know what I am talking about!! Her Background She is very cute at about 5″5″ blonde hair. Just beautiful, Honestly I felt amazing the first time I saw her and the first time I talked her I could barely speak. She gets by in school, doesnt do to well in school but she gets by, persuing a degree in Health Science. She almost seems like she is very superficial, mom and dad take care of everythign for her one of those girls, but the way she talks to me and the way we talk to each other seemed to be magic. So I met this girl in class (College), and from the moment I saw her took my breath away. I start talking to her and I get her number. Mind you we are both single at this time. We talk for a little while and text back and fourth. Then one night, I get this call from her. She proceeds to tell me that she is calling me because “We just found out my father has cancer, and your the only one I feel comfortable talking to about it” she asks me to get grab her test from our teacher, it was a take home exam. So I grab it and I get my take home exam done…3 days later she txts me and says “You can come over tonight and give me that test and I will give you all the answers to the review sheets for drugs class” (A little give and take, not me doing all of the giving) I go over to her apartment, just the two of us there. We trade papers, and end up talking for a good 3 hours just about life and what not, a little bit about her dad, not too much. What I learned from this She used to date the QB for Wisconsin for like 4 years and he cheated on her One of her good friends is Marco Andretti She is in the dating phase, and apparently is talking to a black guy (little white blonde girl) We txt and I notice she starts to get a little flirty, and shows her caring side towards me. She tells me that I am sexy, and she tells me personal things. I eventually tell her I like her, and I ask her out. Every time that I asked her out she said “Yes” but never ended up committing to it. We continue to talk very flirty and she eventually tells me that she told her parents about me, and they said that we should date! She lets me know that she is looking for love!! I somewhat shrugged it off, but we continued to talk, then somewhere around her 21st birthday, she stoped talking to me and txting me as much. This is where things get weird. I asked her “Are you seeing someone” about 3 weeks after her B-Day. She responds “Yes for a few weeks”.(Black Guy “ripped” “Firefighter” “Drinker”, not the same one she was talking to in December, apparently just met. …This is about the time, I just let her know how I felt about her and that she was special to me and always would be. This is where I thought things were over, but apparently not. I would still txt her and she would continue to tell me she thinks I am sexy and blahh blahh blahh. I am still very much into this girl but she is still with this guy, its been about 2 months they been going out. I am just looking for love and to start a family and my life, she understood what I was about, I thought I understood what she was about. I am trying to figure out if I should just leave the entire situation, because being friends seems so hard because I have these feelings for her. “Is she **** with me, or using me” “Is this a test to see my dedication to her,my willingness” “Is this a phase she is going through”????? I put in so much time and it felt so good, I know that she liked me!!!! What happened?? Any oppinions would be appreciated. Sponsored Links Answer Guy If she was as interested in you as you were in her, she wouldn’t want to date someone else. She is having her fun with this other guy because she expects that you will be waiting for her anyway in case it doesn’t work out with him. Reply Michale Belize I agree. I met a girl before just like the one you describe, 5’4″, blonde, cutest thing ever. She was very flirty and would compliment me non stop. She finished up a semester of grad school, which she said she was all mine after.. yea, guess what. Never heard from her again. Just let it go if you are catching feelings. If you cant manage to not get attached then play the field. Sponsored Links Reply Plan of action What should I do then, just keep being friends, and wait. Or dont really say anything to her, and make her start conversations, almost like I couldnt give a ****, or would that push her futher away?? I’ve never felt this way and I really wouldnt want to mess stuff up with her, but at the same time, the hurt is awful. Reply Guy Are they still going out? Reply Yo Yeah, they are still going out, it just seems they have a weird relationship. I pritty much decided to stop talking to her, for the moment. Took her out of my phone, Reply Guy All right. That saves you some trouble. She knows how to contact you, so it’s up to her if she wants to. Reply Aunt Acid Plan of action wrote: How can you push her away? She’s all ready away–with another guy! As for messing stuff up with her, I’m afraid it’s all ready messed up and I really don’t see it getting sorted to your satisfaction. Look, if you think you can be friends with her without your unrequited feelings casting a pall over your friendship, then be friends with her. Keep in mind, though, a relationship with you is not her priority. I think you should just concentrate on your courses for now. There’s plenty of time for love and family after you’ve finished school and established yourself in your career. Reply spiral she likes attention. so sad. get a girl with soul, man. Reply avictor It sounds to me like you are the guy her common sense says she should be interested in. But she is not really sexually attracted to you. No chemistry on her end. Stay in touch…… But keep your options open. If you want a chance with her jealousy could open that door for you. Seeing as she seems to still be operating from the immature primal emotional area of her brain. You could simply start dating others. I do believe a bit more aggression on your end will suit you well in this case. The guys she goes for sound like the aggressive type. Reply ooh Say goodbye to her as quick as you can. She is messing with you. Reply HeIsTheHandOfGod My man, know something. This girl is a party hard, fun and no bsns kinda girl. She goes after guys who party even harder then she ddoes. Nothing wrong with that at her age, shes just is in a stage right now. You on the other hand need someone who is more mature and is srs about there life, and about u. Keep looking and stay away from girls that can capture ur heart but can offer nothing in return, and girl who play with mens hearts for fun. They are very dangerous to ppl like me and you, who arnt strategic experts in relationships. SOunded like she wanted fun a and u wanted love, sorry bro. Hoped u learned something from this. Best of luck to you mate, even tho its 4 years late lol Reply Fortune Daz me Reply Advicedog Ahh yes the typical leaving you as second option if anything goes wrong, it says something about her personality doesnt it? She is bad news, run for the hills. Even if her “phase” will be over, using people says something about that person and you want serious relationship wich she will never be. Or you can play her own game and just use her for sex. Just play like you are her lap dog, date other people, than when she will want sex, use her, ditch her. Reply FLIPPER66 hy “what do you think” check this plan out on hat you should try.. either way you’ll find out what she’s up to. try this even though at first after reading it may sound counter productive…yet ask yourself this all the things you’ve been doing so far have they worked for you? so what do you have to loose by trying this…however you do need to be very deligent about it… 11.Q: What is 180 and how does it work? A: 180 is a list of behaviors from Michelle Wiener Davis, the author of Divorce Busting, that will help your spouse to see you moving forward as a healthy person. I would highly suggest that any new BS begin these behaviors as soon as possible. I am convinced that if I had implemented them, I would still be married. In retrospect, I did everything besides 180. I looked pathetic. No one wants to be perceived as pathetic. 180 makes you look strong. Strong is attractive. So here’s the list: 1. Don’t pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore. 2. No frequent phone calls. let them call you 1st. 3. Don’t point out “good points” in marriage/relationship 4. Don’t follow her/him around the house complaining 5. Don’t encourage or initiate discussion about the future. 6. Don’t ask for help from the family members of your WS/WP. 7. Don’t ask for reassurances about the future between you . 8. Don’t buy or give gifts for any reason even birthdays or christmas 9. Don’t schedule dates together. 10. Don’t keep saying, “I Love You!” Because if you have a brain in your head, he/she is at this particular moment, most likely doesn’t care or not very loveable towards you. 11. Do more then act as if you are moving on with your life; begin moving on with your life! (a must if you really want to draw her/him back) 12. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and independent even if you feel like your not. 13. Don’t sit around waiting on your spouse/bf/gf – get busy, do things, go out with friends, enjoy old hobbies, find new ones! hit the gym! But stay busy! 14. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words. Don’t push any issue? No matter how much you want to! 15. If you’re in the habit of asking your spouse his/her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING. Seem totally uninterested. 16. Your partner needs to believe that you have awakened to the fact that “they (the WS)” are/were serious concerning their assertions as to the future (or lack there of) of your marriage/relationship. Thus, you are moving on with your life? with or with out them! 17. Don’t be nasty, angry or even cold – Just pull yourself back. Don’t always be so available? for anything! Your spouse/bf/gf will notice. More important, he/she will notice that you’re missing. 18. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment? Make yourself be someone they would want to be around. Not a moody, needy, pathetic individual but a self assured individual secure in the knowledge that they have value. 19. All questions about the marriage/relationship should be put on hold, until your spouse/bf/gf wants to talk about it (which may not be for quite a while). Initiate no such conversation! let them do that. 20. Do not allow yourself to lose your temper. No yelling, screaming or name calling EVER. No show of temper! Be cool, act cool; be in control of the only thing you can control? YOURSELF! 21. Don’t be overly enthusiastic if he/she calls/txt’s/ messages you or accidently run across each other in person.. keep any and all responses short and act as though you have something pressing to do… 22. Do not argue when they tell you how they feel (it only makes their feelings stronger). In fact, refuse to argue at all! 23. Be patient and learn to not only listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you? HEAR what it is that they are saying! Listen and then listen some more! why ? you may learn something that you missed before and need to know. 24. Learn to back off, keep your mouth shut and walk away when you want to speak out, no matter what the provocation. No one ever got themselves into trouble by just not saying anything or walking away. just say you’ll not argue with them on that topic. 25. Take care of you. Exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil. this one is extremely important. who would believe that your moving on if you look an feel like death warmed over. 26. Be strong, confident and learn to speak softly. 27. Know that if you can do this 180, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed far more than any words you can say or write. 28. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are feeling totally desperate and needy. 29. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse. It’s not always about you! More to the point, at present they just don’t care at that point in time. 30. Do not believe any of what you hear them say and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives and do so in the most strident tones imaginable. Try to remember that they are also hurting and afraid. Try to remember that they know what they are doing is wrong and so they will say anything they can to justify their behavior. 31. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. It “ain’t over till it’s over!” 32. Do not backslide from your hard earned changes. Remain consistent! It is the consistency of action and attitude that delivers the message. 33. When expressing your dissatisfaction with the actions of the wayward party, never be judgmental, critical or express moral outrage. Always explain that your dissatisfaction is due to the pain that the acts being committed are causing you as a person. This is the kind of behavior that will cause you to be a much more attractive and mysterious individual. Further it SHOWS that you are NOT afraid to move on with your life.
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